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“You can’t study snakes for forty years without encountering some dangerous ones. I have a whole cabinet of venom samples from every poisonous snake known to people, so I can study the ways in which these dangerous snakes work. There is a snake in this room whose venom is so deadly that your heart would stop before you even knew he’d bitten you. There’s a snake who can open her mouth so wide she could swallow all of us, together, in one gulp. There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize. But all of these snakes are in cages with much sturdier locks, and all of them can be handled safely when one has studied them enough. I promise you that if you take time to learn the facts, no harm will come to you here in the Reptile Room.”

Lemony Snicket, Reptile Room, pg 31

“I was frequently rallied by the Queen upon account of my fearfulness, and she used to ask me whether the people of my country were as great cowards as myself. The occasion was this. The kingdom is much pestered with flies in summer; and these odious insects, each of them as big as a Dunstable lark, hardly gave me any rest while I sat at dinner, with their continual humming and buzzing about my ears. They would sometimes alight upon my victuals; and leave their loathsome excrement or spawn behind, which to me was very visible, though not to the natives of that country, whose large optics were not so acute as mine in viewing smaller objects. Sometimes they would fix upon my nose or forehead, where they stung me to the quick, smelling very offensively, and I could easily trace that viscous matter, which our naturalists tell us enables those creatures to walk with their feet upwards upon a ceiling. I had much ado to defend myself against these detestable animals, and could not forbear starting when they came on my face. It was the common practice of the dwarf to catch a number of these insects in his hand, as schoolboys do among us , and let them out suddenly under my nose, on purpose to frighten me, and divert the Queen. My remedy was to cut them in pieces with my knife as they flew in the air, wherein my dexterity was much admired.”

Gulliver’s Travels, A Voyage to Brobdingnag, pg 103 

“They bury their dead with their heads directly downwards, because they hold an opinion, that in eleven thousand moons they are all to rise again, in which period the earth (which they conceive to be flat) will turn upside down, and by this means they shall, at their resurrection, be found ready standing on their feet. The learned among them confess the absurdity of this doctrine, but the practise still continues, in compliance to the vulgar.” 

A Voyage to Lilliput, Chapter 5. 

her insan ici kesfedilecek bol odali bir satodur.

ilk disarda bekler, ve kapilari calarsiniz iceri girmek icin. disarda duran gardiyanlar iridir, dilenciler paspaldir. siz etrafiniza bakarken, beklenmedik bi anda sahip size kapilari acacak, ‘nasilsiniz, iyi misiniz’ diye soracaktir sadece. bu basit soruya verdiginiz cevabi, satonun sahibinin bahcesini susledigi gibi suslemeyi basarirsaniz, sahip size satonun giris kapisina kadar eslik edecek, giris kapisinda duraklayacaktir.

olur da susleyemesseniz, sahip bahcesinde sizi kopekleriyle ve civcivleriyle tanistiracak, havada ucan kuslari tanimlayabiliyor musunuz diye sizi sinayacaktir. bu durumda, satonun havuz ve budanmis agaclarina bakin, ve sahibin zanaatkarligina iltifatlar edin. boylece bilgi sinavindan muaf tutulmayi belki basarabilirsiniz. her insan iltifata actir. 

ancak basarayama da bilirsiniz. bazi insanlar kendinden o kadar emindir ki, kucuk iltifatlarla kandiramazsiniz onlari. derileri kalin, damarlari et altinda gomuludur.

ana kapiya vardiginizda iceri girip, girmeyeceginize siz karar verirsiniz. sonra ayakkabilarinizi cikarip cikarmayacaginiza, ceketinizi asip asmayacaginiza… bunlara karar verirken etrafiniza bakmaya devam edin..

yerde ayakkabilar var mi? sahip de ayakkabilarini cikariyor mu? ceketlerin asildigi bir dolap var mi? ayakkabilarin bagini cozmek icin cirkin bir tabureyle suslemis mi sahip giris odasini ? 

suslememisse isiniz daha kolay.

ana kapidan sonraki kapi, havadar, bol camli, iceriye disardan bol bol isik suzduren hali kapli bir salona acilir. buraya kadar geldiginiz zaman, civciv ve kus adlari sinavlarini, iltifat yarislarini asmissinizdir. salon koltuklu bir yerdir. koltuklarin yumusakligini, sehpalarin sertligini, asilmis resimlerin, biblolarin kompozisyonu anlamak size kalmistir artik. 

sohbet burda koyulasir. nasilsin iyi misin, degildir artik araniz, ‘ben…’, ve ‘sen..’ dir sohbetlerin baslangici.  tuvaletiniz gelirse burda, sahip size tuvaletini gosterir. 

belki yeni bir havlu asar, ya da tuvaletin pisligi icin ozur diler sizden. 

sifonu cekmeyi, ve tuvaletin klozetini buldgunuz gibi birakmayi unutmayin. bunlar onemsiz gibi gozukse de, uyum saglamak, ayak uydurmaktir.  

tuvaletten dondugunuzde sohbet ayni devam ederse, yatak odasina kadar varabilirsiniz. buranin anahtari beraber gulebilmek, ve beraber sevmemeyi basarabilmektir. 

yatak odasi ve salondan sonra, her odayi kesfetmek size kalmistir. ender olarak insanlar her odayi kesfetmeye caba sarfederler. ve her odanin kesfedilmesi gerekip, gerekmedigi tartisilir bir konudur.

mavi sakal’in her odasini kesfetmeye kalkmasa prenses, mutlu mu, olu mu olucakti kim bilir.